Forgive and Forget
by Xephia
Summary: In 20 years Naruto has gained everything, but now he craves something more. Sasuke, having lost everything, returns to the man who loves him most. But has Sasuke's love cultivated over the decades, or diminished? Does he have ulterior intentions? Slash
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

The black bird landed on the tree and ruffled it's feathers, picking at the little red berries, unaware.

The young ninja crouched in the bushes. Deep breaths. Racing heart. He narrowed his eyes as he raised the kunai. _Nearly,_ he mouthed. _Just a little closer._

A crunch of a leaf. The bird raised it's little head. The boy's fingers shook. Another deep breath.  
_  
Now! _

The kunai whizzed through the air, cutting right through a leaf in it's path and – it missed! In a flash the bird was gone, and the boy was racing through the bush, scaling fallen logs with a hunter's precision.

And then suddenly great light pierced through the trees, and he was tumbling out of the forest. He stumbled, gasping as he pulled himself to a halt just inches form the edge of the cliff. The great village of Konoha receded out beneath him, and unlike the bird, he wouldn't survive the leap.

He placed a hand over his heart and laughed, falling to his bottom on the dirt and looking out at the great expanse of the sky. _I don't want to be a ninja,_ he thought. _Why do I have to be a ninja and risk my life all the time? I want to work in mother's flowershop and eat her pastries. _But he was seven now, and if he didn't start training soon he wouldn't get into Nara, and if he didn't get into the Nara Ninja Academy his father would be sad. And if his father was sad, well, that just wouldn't be very good at all.  
So he had to train every day.

But at least no one had seen him nearly fall. _That _would have been embarrassing. He quickly glanced around – not that anyone would be so far out of the village, but just in case.

He gasped.

A tall figure stood cloaked in the shadow of the forest, looking down the road that led to Konoha Gates. He was dressed completely in black, the hooded cloak covering everything from his toes to his eyes. He didn't appear to have noticed the little boy. In fact, he barely appeared to notice anything; birds sat on the branches around him unconcerned as though he hadn't moved and disturbed them for hours.

The boy swallowed. There was something eerily suspicious about this man. The boy crouched back into the bushes as slowly and carefully as he could. But surely, even though he hadn't shown it, the man was aware that he was there? He had made an awful lot of noise earlier.

Suddenly, the man turned around, and the startled birds scattered. A dozen ravens, squawking, flattered around him and up into the sky.

But the boy didn't chase the birds with his kunai like he normally would have done; he couldn't move. He knew this face, these dark and piercing eyes that looked at him now. There was a picture of this man in his mother's photo album.

But she had told him Sasuke Uchiha was dead.

In a flash, before the young boy could even blink, Sasuke vanished, and then something hard collided with the back of the child's head and then there was nothing.

Sasuke watched the child crumple to the ground, before pulling the boy's city pass from his pocket. He read it through quickly. Just for today, he would be Soichimaru Akimichi, a resident of Konoha, son of Ino and Chouji Akimichi.

He smiled, as though at some personal joke, before slipping it into his robes and making his slow descent to Konoha gates.


	2. A Visitor

**Chapter One**

The man sat at the cluttered and untidy desk amidst stacks of papers. In his right hand he held a pen, pressed to the bottom of a letter. From the tip the black ink spread, blotching out and separating into thin, web-like trails before fading out. He didn't appear to be paying it any attention.

A quiet knock at the door startled him back into existance. He sighed heavily, running a hand through his messy blonde hair and removing the pen from the blotch of ink. He hurriedly signed the paper without reading it. He continued with the next few pages as the knocking continued.

"Come in," he muttered eventually without looking up from his work. His new secretary, a tall and curvy red-headed woman, bounced through the door with an air of importance. She smiled broadly at the man and pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose.

"Eighth Hokage, sir, you have a visitor."

A Visitor? The Eighth Hokage met her gaze with a frown. He wasn't expecting anyone except the fifth Genin team, who would be reporting in from a mission this afternoon – and they weren't to be expected for another few hours at least. He shook his head. He didn't want to see anyone. It was ironic - when he was alone he craved excitement and conversation, but when he was around people he just wanted them to go away again. It was just how he was. He looked away and out of the window.

"Tell them I'm busy, Moegi," he said, watching as a small brown bird landed on the sill and begin pruning it's feathers.

"He said that you might refuse to see him," said Moegi, toying with a loose strand from her ponytail. "But, he says that you have something of his, and that he wants it back." Now she looked anxious.

The Hokage's brow furrowed as he regarded her.

"Did he say what it is exactly that I have?"

"He said something about a scratched ninja band..."

Silence.

"Sir?"

The Hokage bearly heard her. A face shifted before his eyes, and he absently reached his hand towards an inner pocket of his robes. But then he cleared his throat, shook his head and stood up. This had to be someone's idea of a joke. Perhaps Sai was still trying to convince him to see him. Ah, of course. Sai. He just didn't give up.

"Fine, send him in," he said.

"Yes, sir!" exclaimed Moegi, vanishing through the door as fast as she had entered. He heard her heels as they clicked quickly away down the corridor. The Hokage leaned against the wall and put his fingers to his temples. What did Sai want? He had been certain that Sai had already given up on him. It had been nearly a year since the ninja had last visited for anything that wasn't strictly business.

The door began to creak open. There wasn't any knocking, so Moegi must not be with him. That was unusual.

"What do you want-" The Hokage began, but stopped, mouth agape. It wasn't Sai. It sure as hell wasn't Sai. Black hair, not unlike Sai's, framed a thin and pale face. Black eyes, just like Sai's, locked onto the Hokage's. He was, in so many ways, like Sai. But the lips were too thin, the eyes too narrow. And Sai didn't smirk like that.

"It's been a while," said the visitor. "_Dobe_."


	3. Sasuke

**Chapter Two**

_Sasuke. Sasuke was back..._

"You've grown up. I half expected to find you in Ichiraku's Ramen."

_Sasuke..._

"Idiot. You look stupid, with your mouth hanging open like that. I guess that some things haven't changed."

"Sasuke..." Naruto croaked. Was this really him? He wanted to run up to him, to cling to him and never let him go. And then, quite abruptly, he was angry. He pushed himself away from the wall and ground his teeth together.

"Sasuke, you bastard!" he hissed. "What's the meaning of this - coming back now? Don't you get it?" He spoke quietly, but balled his hands into fists. "You're not wanted!"

Sasuke smiled – the kind of smile that Naruto remembered all too well, and hated as much as he remembered. The smile that said nothing, but could mean anything.

"I thought that you wanted me back? Or did you just chase me for so long because you had nothing better to do?"

Naruto scowled, and stepped closer. "You're too late," he said, and now it was his turn to smile – if only a small, sad smile. Weren't those the exact same words Sasuke had used so many years ago?

_Eyes in shadow, head down, Sasuke stood above Naruto. _

_'You're too late,' the teenage boy said quietly, his voice only just heard above the waterfall. 'You're too late, Naruto!'_

But Naruto's smile faded with the memory.

"You abandoned me. You abandoned Konoha – and then attacked it. By your name, innocent people were killed!" Naruto found himself getting angry again. "Bastard! I've hated you... ever since then.

"Stop laughing!" Naruto pounced forward and threw a clumsy, out of practice punch which Sasuke caught in his palm. Sasuke didn't let go.

"If you hated me so much, you wouldn't have begged the Hokage to order all the ninjas he sent after me to bring me back alive."

Naruto paused. How did he know that? "He ignored me anyway."

"But you left Konaha, to get to me first." Sasuke continued to smile. He tightened his grip on Naruto's fist. "Do you want to know why?"

Confused, angry and upset, Naruto ignored the question and drew back his other fist. Again, just inches from Sasuke's face, Sasuke caught it. His smirk widened.

"Do you _know_ why, Naruto?"

"Because I was a stupid, delusional teenager who thought that you might be a decent person," spat Naruto through gritted teeth.

"That might have been part of it," Sasuke agreed. He moved his head forward and loosened his grip on Naruto. His lips brushed Naruto's hair as he put them closer to his ear.

"But do you want to know the real reason?" he whispered.

Naruto pushed Sasuke away with all his strength, and, taken unawares, Sasuke fell backwards into the wall. "There is no other reason!" Naruto shouted. "I was wrong about you. I was blind. You've always been an inconsiderate, power hungry bastard, who..." He trailed off into silence. "Piss off." he said after a moment. His voice weakened as he continued. "Please. I never want to see you again."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Fine." Sasuke's smile faded as he turned away and placed his hand on the door knob, but he stopped as Naruto called out...

"Wait!"

Silence, and then Sasuke laughed.

"'It's too late,' Naruto. But, before I leave I want you to know the reason why you chased me for those so many years. The reason why you couldn't just let me walk out of your life. The reason you're letting me, a Missing Nin with Konoha blood on my hands, leave now without calling your ninjas to arrest or to kill me. The reason why you can't bear to see me dead, and want me, despite your denial, in your life more than anyone else."

Sasuke opened the door.

"The reason, idiot, is that you love me."

The door swung shut behind him.


	4. Love

**Chapter Three**

The resounding tapping of Sasuke's footsteps faded down the empty corridor, slow and rhythmic. Despite the closed door they were loud enough, but Naruto couldn't hear them. One word echoed through his head. A word that he simply couldn't comprehend. He had no idea that a word, just a word, could sound so powerful, so unrealistic, so utterly _stupid_. And so sincere.

He didn't understand. He didn't want to understand.

He put his hands to his temples. His head was spinning. How could he _love_ Sasuke? No, he didn't love Sasuke. Sasuke was one of Konoha's biggest threats. As Hokage, he _couldn't _love Sasuke. That would be ridiculous.

He reached his hand into the inside of the robes and brushed his fingers against cold, polished metal. His eyes prickled. He tightened his fist and pulled it from his pocket to wipe his eyes. His fingers, as they began to shake, released and something clattered to the ground.

"Sasuke," he said. His voice shook with his body. He fell to his knees, feeling more wretched, more in pain than he could ever remember. His fingers stretched out as he sought, through blurry eyes, the dropped object on the floor. Clawing he wrapped his finger around it and pressed the forehead protector to his shaking lips. He could feel the thin, deep scratch. The scratch that he himself had cut.

And he realized then that it wasn't about Konoha. It wasn't about what Sasuke had done, or who Naruto was now. It was about him, and Sasuke. It was about what they had been through together, what they had achieved together. How they felt about each other.

Nothing else mattered.

"Sasuke." Naruto staggered to his feet.

_I won't lose you! Not again. _

He didn't wipe his eyes. He didn't wait to compose himself, but flung himself forward, grappled at the door knob and fell into the corridor.

"It was empty. He got up and ran. It wasn't a long corridor, and beyond it was Konoha.. He felt his heart skip a beat. What if Sasuke was true to his word, and was really leaving him forever? He shook his head fiercely. He'd have waited.

_You'd have waited for me..._

"Eighth Hokage! What happened?"

Moegi stood in the entrance. Just Moegi.

"Hokage, sir?" Moegi, concerned, ran up to Naruto and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Sasuke. Where is he?" Naruto demanded..

"Sasuke?" asked Moegi in confusion.

"That man! Where did he go?"

Mogei's eyebrows furrowed. "Was he the one who made you cry?"

Naruto put a hand to his cheek. His eyes were still burning. He hadn't even noticed. He pushed Moegi's hands away and hurried to the door.

"He left you a message," Moegi called. Naruto stopped, stumbling slightly in his haste, and spun around.

"A message? Why the hell didn't you say so? What did he say? Tell me!"

Moegi put a hand to her heart and smiled. "I'm glad that you're not going to go running off, but at the same time, I'm sad. It's nice to see you a bit less apathetic than usual, but you still have to welcome the Genin team home. Akira would never forgive you."

Naruto stared at her blankly. "That was the message?"

"Oh no." Moegi laughed awkwardly. "The message is a little more confusing, actually. But, I'm sure you'll understand it." Naruto's heart fluttered, eyes widened and body tensed.

"Tell me," he whispered.

"Meet me at midnight at the place where it all began. That's what he said."

_The place where it all began..._

Naruto smiled, and then grinned, and then laughed. Moegi watched on, utterly confused, and more than a little worried, but smiling all the same.

"That's what who said?" asked a clear voice from behind Naruto. A pink haired, blue eyed boy was walking up to meet them with his three companions. There was a beat of silence before Moegi spoke.

"Oh hello, Akira! My my, Hokage, isn't he looking stronger?" she walked over to them and nudged Naruto with her elbow, before blushing at the team Jounin. "You're early. Was the mission successful, Konohamaru?"

Konohamaru grinned back at her, seemingly oblivious to Naruto's tension. "All thanks to Akira! He sure is getting tough." All eyes fell to Naruto, who had hardly registered what was going on.

"Sasuke," he mouthed silently.

"Ne," Akira scoffed. "Aren't you going to congratulate me, _father_?"

"Sasuke."

_I think I'm in love with him._


	5. The Hokage

**Chapter Four.**

Naruto was hardly paying any attention to his son's group's report, his mind devoutly on Sasuke's message. Where did it all begin? He just couldn't work it out. Where did _what _all begin? He'd have thought that Sasuke, knowing Naruto as well as he did, would have made the message as simple and to the point as possible.

He groaned, and banged his head on the desk in front of him.

"Oi!" Asuma, Temari and Shikamaru's son, complained, "are you even listening to us? Ugh, you're so stupid. I don't know how the hell you ever became Hokage."

"Asuma!" The only female team member, a leggy blond girl, grabbed Asuma and put her hand over his mouth, grinning sheepishly at Naruto. "He's really sorry, Hokage sir!"

"Mai, ge'doff me!"

Naruto watched, his chin on the desk as Asuma and Mai struggled. Akira stood to the side, his gaze diverted and arms crossed – unconcerned. It always interested Naruto – no, concerned him – how much this young group of ninjas resembled his own childhood's Team Seven. But, something that struck him even harder today was the resemblance, not physical but in personality, between Akira and Sasuke.

He caught his son's gaze, and Akira held it, staring him down until Naruto looked away. He hadn't been a good father to Akira – having never married Sakura, Akira had been teased for being 'the Hokage's bastard'. Having another bastard half sister to a different mother probably didn't help him socially either. Akira had grown up antisocial and cold, quickly developing a desire for power. Naruto sighed. Had he created another Sasuke? Would Akira abandon him too?

But Sasuke had come back, Naruto reminded himself. He wanted to see him again. If Sasuke could change, Akira could too. He made a mental note to spend more time with Akira in the future.

"You're lucky that you even became a ninja!" Mai was saying to Asuma. "If Akira hadn't fed you at that stupid training course you wouldn't even be here."

And then it clicked.

That was where it all began – Sasuke's first act of compassion towards Naruto, and the beginning of their new life as Genin, together – was at the training area where Sasuke had offered Naruto his lunch. Naruto was sure of it. He stood up abruptly and Asuma and Mai stopped fighting.

"Hokage?" Mai questioned.

"Konohamaru, can we cconclude this report? Your team is giving me a headache."

Mai glared at Asuma.

"Sure thing, Naruto!" Konohamaru grinned, no doubt keen to take Moegi on a date and be rid of the kids himself. Akira watched Naruto with narrow, suspicious eyes, but Naruto ignored him.

"Thank you." And without another word, he walked out of his office, out of the tower. With every step his pace quickened, until he was sprinting through Konoha. As he passed the villagers stared, but he paid them no attention. Sasuke was all he cared about now.

_I have to see Sasuke._

Thump. He ran straight into someone. A shopping bag clattered to the ground and cans and fruit spilled out onto the road.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going, I-" The woman stopped mid-sentence. Naruto was gaping at her and she stared just as dumbly back.

For a whole minute Sakura and Naruto looked at each other. Sakura was wearing a simple red dress, and around her neck was a delicate stone necklace – a friendship charm that Sai had made her so many years ago, back when they were a team. Naruto touched his own neck. He had one too.

Should he tell her about Sasuke? Sasuke, who Sakura had once cared about more than anything, had fought with, had trained with - had grown up with just as much as Naruto had. It had been the three of them in the beginning, not just Sasuke and Naruto.

Sakura deserved to know about Sasuke.

"Naruto." Sakura paused, obviously embarrassed. "It's been so long. I'm so sorry, I should have visited. But after Sai left you you became so distant. It was hard to be around you, you were that upset." Naruto frowned. Hadn't _he_ been the one to end it with Sai? He couldn't remember – that was all a blur now.

"But, I know that that's no excuse. I'm really glad to see you. You should come down more often – I'm sure everyone would love to see you again. Ah, I'm babbling" She laughed, but it was somewhat strained. "Is Akira back?"

"He got back half an hour go," said Naruto quietly.

"Oh."

More silence.

"Are you alright? You were in such a hurry just now, and it's strange to see you in the village," said Sakura. "Did something happen?"

Did he want to tell her? He _should _tell her, but something was stopping him. He didn't want her to know.

"No, nothing happened," said Naruto.

Sakura regarded him for a long time. "I should visit sometime, and bring Akira."

"I'd like that," said Naruto, and he smiled genuinely. He'd missed Sakura's company. She had always been his best friend, Sasuke aside. Even after their relationship had fallen apart and Naruto had taken up with Sai, Sakura had been understanding and comforting. No matter what happened, Sakura had always been there for him.

Until he gave on Sasuke. Until his life had taken a turn downhill. Then she had vanished, and Naruto couldn't really blame her. He could imagine how little fun he must have been to have been around the last few years.

But he didn't want her to know that Sasuke was still alive.

He tried to convince himself that he was protecting her, and not being selfish. That it was possible that the only reason Sasuke was doing this to was to lure Naruto, as the Hokage, out into the unprotected for some more devious plan.

And then he was shot with a sudden shock of realization that that might be exactly what Sasuke was doing.

"Naruto? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I have to go," Naruto whispered. It didn't matter the reason – he had to go and see Sasuke at midnight. And, until then, he needed to be alone.

He picked up the apples at his feet and handed them back to her.

"You did a good job raising Akira," he added.

"He's so much like Sasuke."

_Sasuke. _Naruto's stomach leaped as he made to leave.

"I know."


	6. Red

**Chapter Five**

Naruto knew that it was foolish not to tell anyone where he was going. If this was a trap then he was walking straight into it without any backup at all. As Hokage, he knew that he should have told the Council. What if Sasuke was planning on attacking Konoha again? This would be the surest way to do it – lure their Hokage out and kill him first. It would completely dishearten the ninjas and make them easier targets. But for some reason Naruto didn't feel guilty. Even if he was walking to his death he knew that it would be worth it if he got to see Sasuke again.

_I love him. _In thelast ten hours he had come to this painful conclusion. He had thought over everything. He had tried to explain to himself his feelings for Sasuke in a million and one other ways, but had failed. He couldn't deny it any more - it wasn't like his feelings for Hinata, who, even during the peak of their relationship, he had always known he did not really care for as more than a friend, or Sakura, who he had always thought he loved. Or even Sai.

_If love could be described in color,_ Naruto thought, _Hinata would be crème, Sakura pink, and Sai and Sasuke red. _He knew that he'd been in love with Sai. And because Sasuke evoked the same color of emotion, Naruto couldn't deny his feelings for him. While the thought panicked him and frightened him, it was also somewhat comforting to know and to understand. It explained so much.

The moon wasn't full, but it was only a few days from, so the dirt path that led to the training area was nicely lit. Naruto kept close to the shadows of the bush that lined the trail, walking as quietly as he could. Cicada's sounded in the grass, stopping as he approached but continuing their song once he passed.

The closer he got the louder his heart began to beat and the more confident he became. He suddenly felt young again. It wasn't that he was old, it was just the he had felt it. He hadn't walked this path in years. All thoughts of Sasuke betraying him were quickly vanishing from his mind. The idea of Sasuke not loving Naruto as powerfully as Naruto loved him now seemed absurd.

The three poles stood in the field, black in the darkness, but obvious against the moonlit grass. It was gone midnight, Naruto was sure, but only by a few minutes at most. He took a step forward into the clearing, and searched the area with his eyes, and then, closing them, with his chakra.

Sasuke wasn't there.

Naruto's breath hitched in his throat. Was this the wrong place? No, it couldn't be anywhere but here. He clenched his fists. He had been stupid. How could Sasuke care about him? If Sasuke had loved him, he wouldn't have run off with Akatsuki. He would have come straight home to Naruto. He would have been Konoha's top ninja. He would have been the first to congratulate Naruto on becoming Hokage. Every day he would have reminded Naruto that he was an idiot, but with that loving, teasing smile that Naruto had failed to notice when he was a child.

"Sasuke, you bastard!" Naruto swore loudly into the night, feeling tears sting at his eyes. He bit his lower lip. He had been a fool.

"You're the one who's late, idiot."

Naruto gasped. Hot breath brushed the back on his neck, and for what seemed like a whole minute his heart stopped beating. Sasuke's voice was as warm as his breath, and there was a smile to it that Naruto could hear, even though he couldn't see it.

"You came," said Naruto weakly, but he didn't turn around. This feeling of Sasuke behind him, his lips so close to his ears, the heat of his breath on his neck, felt so intimate. Seeing Sasuke's face now... what would it make him do? Would it change his mind, and make him angry? By facing one of the most proud men he knew, would he suddenly feel the need to protect his own pride and deny his feelings? He closed his eyes, willing Sasuke to say something. Wanting the feel of his lips to brush his hair again as he spoke. He could feel the heat radiating from Sasuke's body. He ground his teeth together.

"I'm not as surprised at your coming," Sasuke muttered. "You've always been an idiot. This could have been a trap."

"It isn't?"

"It isn't," Sasuke assured him and, making Naruto jump, wound his arms slowly and deliberately around Naruto's waist. Naruto felt his body heat up, and he knew that he was blushing. He suddenly wanted to look at Sasuke and to see his eyes. Would they be cold and mocking, or sincere? But now in Sasuke's grip, he couldn't turn around.

"You love me," said Sasuke, and the words sounded different to Naruto now that he knew they were true.

"Yes," Naruto whispered, even though Sasuke hadn't posed it as a question. Sasuke knew that Naruto loved him, and had known for a long time. _Why did he let me unknowingly suffer?_ Naruto wondered. _Why didn't he tell me sooner?_

Sasuke made a noise of content, and nipped at Naruto's ear. "Say it," he said.

"I love you," said Naruto. Sasuke nestled his face into Naruto's hair, breathing out.

"I've been waiting to hear that for a very long time," he murmured.

Naruto gulped. He was sweating, he was anxious. He felt like a little virgin boy, fear and desire pulsing through his body in conflict. He brushed the sweat off of his upper lip. What would happen now?

Sasuke's hands slipped inside Naruto's robe, and Naruto gasped audibly, making Sasuke chuckle. He drew a circle around his bellybutton, and then paused before trailing his fingers lower. He licked the sweat from the back of Naruto's neck.

"Tonight," Sasuke breathed, barely audible, "you're mine."


	7. Lonely

**Chapter Six**

A cool hand slid momentarily over Naruto's eyes. "Don't look," Sasuke whispered as he slipped his fingers into Naruto's, interlocking them. Sasuke had softer hands than Naruto had imagined. Not nearly as soft as Sai's, but surprisingly silky for such a prestigious killer. Naruto suddenly felt conscious of his own calloused fingers and toughened palms. He had never really bothered to look after his body – he had never really cared what anyone thought of his appearance. So why did he now?

Sasuke led him across the grass and Naruto dared a peek through the flutter of his eyelids. Why all the secrecy? Sasuke's back was to him as he drew him along, and with the long black cloak Naruto was reminded instantly of Itachi. He shook his head to clear the image and closed his eyes tighter.

They stopped and Sasuke pushed Naruto down a lroughly. Naruto could feel the grass beneath his hair and hear the soft crunch of the early autumn leaves. He breathed in the scent of the grass, still lush, and opened his eyes.

The sadness in Sasuke's expression was the first thing that Naruto noticed. Sasuke was leaning over Naruto, holding himself above him and looking down at him with an expression that Naruto couldn't explain but stroke a painful chord in his chest. Sasuke closed his eyes, shielding himself from Naruto, and Naruto unconsciously lifted a hand to Sasuke's cheek.

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered. He sounded bitter, and perhaps a little angry. "I told you not to look." He caught Naruto's unspoken reply with his lips, and the kiss sent a wave of desire through Naruto. All of his questions, doubts and fears seemed to wash away with the kiss that he wanted to last forever.

"Sasuke," he said, sitting up as Sasuke broke away, "I love you." _So stop looking so lonely... _

"Idiot." Sasuke nuzzled his head into Naruto's neck, running his lips from the collarbone to his ear, breath shaky and voice distant. "Take off your shirt." But Naruto was too slow, and Sasuke ripped it roughly off over his head. Naruto wanted to say something, to explain that he wasn't usually this bad at communicating, that he hadn't changed_ that _much and that he was still a fun guy to be around. But he kept his mouth shut because he didn't want to lie.

Beneath the black cloak Sasuke was already shirtless, and again Naruto found himself comparing him to Sai. His skin wasn't as white, but was still beautifully pale and contrasted against the faded tan of Naruto's fingers as he rested them on Sasuke's chest. The contrast seemed to please Sasuke as well, because he smiled and took Naruto's hands in his, pressing their palms together and forcing them back down to the earth.

The realization that he was now trapped beneath Sasuke excited Naruto, and he found himself surprisingly eager. Naturally, as Sasuke continued to do nothing but watch him (like a child, savoring the appearance of the last chocolate in a box) Naruto felt his patience wane. With a little grunt of effort, and to Sasuke's surprise, Naruto rolled Sasuke over.

Naruto took only a second to appreciate Sasuke, his black hair strewn about his face, his eyes narrow but mouth still slightly agape in surprise, before pressing his hungry mouth to those velvet lips.

**5 hours previously**

"I saw Naruto today," Sakura said quietly as Hinata served the fish pie. Every once in a while the two mothers would have dinner together in an attempt to break down the wall between their two children. The blond haired girl wasn't paying attention to anyone and continued to talk to the teddy on her lap, but Akira, interested, looked up. Neither woman noticed him.

"Really?" Hinata smiled. "How is he?"

"I don't know," Sakura replied honestly. "He looked a bit frazzled. Let me help you with that."

"Thank you."

"Hinata," said Akira suddenly, surprising everyone. Akira openly despised Hinata and her daughter for their relationship with his father, and would usually avoid talking to them at all costs. "Sasuke. Who is he?"

"I'm sure I've told you about Sasuke before," said Sakura quickly.

"You've mentioned him, yes, but all I know is that he's an infamous missing nin that you knew as a child." Akira looked back at Hinata. "Who is he?"

"Why do you want to know? We weren't even talking about him."

"I asked Hinata, Mum, not you."

"Why don't you ask your mother?" suggested Hinata, obviously uncomfortable. She frowned at Sakura, who shrugged just as incredulously back. However, the saucepan of vegetables in her hand rocked slightly as she toyed with the handle, obviously anxious as to where the conversation was going.

"Because I have a feeling she'll lie to me," said Akira. He crossed his arms. "So, who is Sasuke and what is his relationship with the Hokage?"

"Who have you been talking to?" said Sakura abruptly, her voice suddenly hard. Akira smiled and there was a knowing glint to his eye.

"Moegi was telling me today. A man called Sasuke visited Naruto, and they're meeting somewhere mysterious tonight."

For a second the room was completely silent, and then saucepan and vegetables clattered loudly to the floor.

**12:40am**

"You've done this before," Sasuke muttered as Naruto licked the cooling sweat from his lover's neck. An animal stirred in the bushes nearby, but otherwise the night around them was silent. Sasuke's naked body was wrapped around Naruto, who lay back, again, on the grass. They had tousled for the position and Sasuke had won.- while Naruto _did_ train a little when he felt he needed to, he spent far too much time in the office and was out of practice.

"You think I'm a virgin," Naruto asked with an disbelieving laugh. Sasuke was trailing his fingers down Naruto's body, teasingly avoiding the places Naruto wanted him to touch most.

"I meant with another man," said Sasuke coolly.

Naruto wondered at Sasuke. He didn't look uncomfortable to Naruto – in fact, he'd been the essence of seductive confidence during the act. Had Sasuke never had a male partner before? Surely, if he had slept with women in the past, he had slept with men as well?

"Are you surprised?" Naruto asked.

"I thought you liked women."

"And that you were the only exception?"

"I knew you wanted me, but I wasn't sure... if I could convince you to do this. It's a surprise that you've loved other men in the past."

"You're upset," Naruto realized, propping himself up his elbows so that he could look at Sasuke better. For a moment Sasuke was silent.

"I'm not," he said eventually. The corner of his mouth twitched up as he added, "I was a little worried that you were going to struggle and that I'd to end up having to rape you."

Naruto laughed weakly, pretending that Sasuke was joking. "So... you've never been with a man before." Naruto considered this. "Do you prefer women?"

"That's not it." Sasuke kissed Naruto, a suggestion, perhaps bored or uncomfortable with the conversation. But Naruto pulled back, still keen to talk.

"So you prefer men, but you've only ever slept with women?" Naruto smirked. "And I thought I was supposed to be the stupid one."

Sasuke sighed and pulled himself off Naruto. He sat so that he was looking away, his face lit up with moonlight. "Idiot," he muttered. Naruto watched him in silence for a moment, taking in the change in his profile face. The changes were small – his hair was longer and his eyes creased slightly at the edges, but he was still just as captivating and beautiful as he had been as a teenager. A breeze brushed his fringe and he tucked it behind his ear.

"I had a wife," he said softly, barely breaking the silence. The words had been spoken so quietly that if Naruto had not seen his lips move he may have passed it off as a sound of the forest. Naruto didn't know what to say. It wasn't the words that shocked him, but the way Sasuke had said them. There was a painful, but loving, caress to his voice. It stabbed at Naruto like a knife.

"If you'd rather a man, why did you marry a women?" Naruto asked, trying not to sound defensive. Sasuke didn't reply immediately, and looked as though he were trying hard to decide what to say. Or perhaps what_ not _to say.

"She was pregnant," he said at last. "And she didn't want the child to be raised without a father. Nor did I."

"Was it yours?" Naruto whispered. _And if it was, where is it now?_

"Of course. But even if it wasn't I would have probably stayed with her."

"Do... did you love her?" Naruto couldn't bring himself to speak in present tense. How could he love a wife and be here tonight?

"She was a good friend."

_Was_. "What happened?"

"She died."

Naruto sat up and pulled his legs to his chest. It was a warm evening, but he suddenly felt cold. "What about the child?"

"I raised him for a few months, but I knew nothing about children. We'd been living underground, as you know, so we kept away from villages whenever possible. After I avenged her, rumors of my presence started in the nearby town. Ghost stories mostly, but a few young boys had seen me that night so they weren't complete speculation.

"The child fell ill. I searched for a remedy but came up with nothing. He was so small so couldn't take most of the herbs, and his body was so fragile I was afraid of traveling far for a healer. When I realized there was nothing I could do for him I left him outside a hospital. That was three months ago, he was five months old." There was no emotion in his voice, but his eyes were closed again.

"I'm so sorry," Naruto said and meant it. After all the hardship and suffering Sasuke had gone through as a child, he didn't deserve this. No matter how many people he had killed in the past, he didn't deserve to lose his family all over again.

"It was for the best," said Sasuke.

"What do you mean?"

"You ask too many questions." Sasuke stretched his arms and lay back again. "Do you have children?"

"I have two."

"That's good." Sasuke reached up and put his hand on the back of Naruto's neck, drawing him closer. "Don't ever leave them unless you have to."

"Will _you_ ever leave me again?"

"Idiot, don't ask stupid questions. Just lie still." Sasuke moved down Naruto's body and licked the inside of his thigh.

"Wha - what're you? Don't tell me... want to... again?" Naruto squirmed at every touch of Sasuke's moist lips, but even while questioning it Naruto knew that Sasuke needed to take his mind off the past.

"Every second I'm with you, I want to," Sasuke whispered.

The warm breeze woke Naruto the next day, but no matter how high the temperature, it still felt cold.

_Sasuke, you lied to me_.


	8. Warmth

**Chapter Seven**

Naruto came into a warm and sleepy consciousness. Someone was carrying him and he could smell pine and cedar, and hear the sound of someone's gentle breathing. Without opening his eyes he could tell it was early morning. The birds were singing but the sky was still dark through his lids. Where was he?

"Ah, you're awake," said Sasuke gently.

Naruto remembered, and the memory of last night made him smile. He made a small noise of content as Sasuke lay him down.

"Go back to sleep, it's early."

"What about you?" Naruto managed, stifling a yawn by burying his head into the cloak he was wrapped in (which he now recognized as his own.)

"Idiot. I'm right here." Sasuke put an arm around Naruto, and Naruto sighed at the comfort and the warmth. He wanted this to last forever.

"Don't leave me," Naruto breathed. "I don't think I could survive it if you left me again."

"Sleep," Sasuke whispered. "I'm here." Naruto felt a slight prick to his arm, perhaps the bite of a bug, before slipping back into a deep sleep.


	9. Sai

**Author's Note:** Sorry! This isn't actually an update. I just went back to add a prologue.

I know it's been over a year since I last updated this story, but the next chapter is nearly finished. About a year ago I discovered fictionpress, and found some really amazing slash stories there. I decided to try my hand at writing original fiction, and my original stories surprised me by being twice as popular as any of my fanfiction. I always thought original fiction would get less attention, but one of my stories averages at nearly 20 reviews per chapter. I only published it recently, and it only has five chapters. I feel much prouder of my original stories, and they're so much more popular than my fanfiction. I've sort of lost the motivation to continue to write SasuNaru or Drarry.

Having said that, I don't want to leave people hanging. I know how much that sucks. There's a Draryry fic I've been waiting for an update on for three years, and still check every few months even though it's a bit of a lost cause, lol. So if there's a single person who wants me to continue with this story, I will. Please leave me a comment c:

**Chapter Eight**

The warm breeze woke Naruto, but no matter how high the temperature, it still felt cold. The sun was high in the sky and the forest teeming with wildlife. A stream trickled somewhere nearby and birds sang in the leafy green trees above. But Naruto couldn't see the beauty of this scene while it missed one important subject.

Sasuke.

Naruto was still wrapped in his own crème and orange cloak, but now he leaned against one of the large oaks, a hand over his eyes. He had woken to find his clothes folded neatly and put beneath his head as a pillow. He could picture Sasuke doing this, treating him like a child. Perhaps laughing to himself, mocking Naruto. Sasuke's sneering face swam before his eyes.

_Did you really think I cared about you? Did you really think I'd stay?_

Naruto had woken up with a headache, his thoughts fuzzy and body weak. There was pain, too, but physical pain he could handle. The emotional hurt of being fucked, drugged and abandoned by the man he loved was severely worse.

He had searched the area completely and been unable to find a single sign of Sasuke. It was almost as though he hadn't been there at all. Naruto had waited for hours - he wasn't sure how many - and even after the drug had completely worn off Sasuke hadn't come back. Of course, Naruto shouldn't have been expecting him to. He knew that now.

Naruto banged his fist against the trunk of the tree. "Bastard," he said. His voice shook.

_You lied to me_. _You used me and discarded me here. _

Wherever _here _was. This patch of forest looked no different to any other. He turned to the giant oak and guessed at it's height. After putting on his trousers and discarding the cloak, he climbed it, but couldn't see above the canopies of the other trees, so he chose another, and this one was tall enough.

He wasn't far from the training grounds. He could see a handful of ninja there now – perhaps it was Akira and his team? He recalled his conversation with Sasuke. Had Sasuke really had a son, or had it all been an act to gain Naruto's pity?

And then a sudden realization rocked Naruto.

_You didn't lie. You didn't say that you'd stay. You didn't say that you loved me. _Naruto tore at his hair in agony. _Your words didn't lie, but your body did. _He screamed. He felt like a fool. But he was still a fool in love.

"Naruto?" A soft male voice sounded from behind him as his feet touched the earth again, and when Naruto spun around and saw dark hair and pale skin his heart lifted – only to break again as Sai stepped out of the shadows.

"Fuck!" It was almost a sob. _Fuck. Fuck it all. _His shoulders shook as he fell back against the tree. He laughed a strangled, bitter laugh.

Sai had never been the kind of person who knew how to comfort others. That was one of the things that Naruto had liked about him. All those days in the their youth when Naruto had fallen apart, unable to handle Sasuke's betrayal, Sai hadn't tried to tell him it was going to be alright, that Naruto didn't need to cry. Naruto hated it when people held him, wiped away his tears and pretended to understand the kind of loss Sasuke had been. Because no one had understood. Naruto hadn't even understood it himself at the time.

Instead, Sai would leave him alone, pretend it wasn't happening or do something to take his mind off it. During Naruto's bouts of depression, sex with Sai had been common. Naruto wondered what Sai would do now, and couldn't decide whether he wanted him gone or whether he wanted him to pull him into an embrace, but when Sai lifted a hand to Naruto's face Naruto brushed it away.

"What do you want?" Naruto's voice came out coarse.

Sai didn't flinch. "It's been two years, and I don't even get a 'hello'?" He smiled weakly. "Everyone's looking for you. Sakura asked me to help. Your secretary said you left yesterday and never returned. Half the village is worried."

"Huh." Naruto's laugh was dry. "Only half?"

"The other half don't know you're missing."

Guilt battled for a place inside Naruto. He was still Hokage. He should have returned when he first woke up. No doubt the reason Sasuke moved him this morning was so that he wouldn't be found. If he had woken up earlier he might have been quick enough to follow Sasuke – but now it was hopeless. Sasuke would be long gone by now.

"You look different," Naruto said after a while in an attempt to divert his thoughts. However, this seemed to work against him as Sai's appearance was an instant reminder of Sasuke.

"I grew my hair," said Sai, reminding Naruto (perhaps intentionally) of one of the last conversations they had had before their break up. "You said you liked it long."

Naruto nodded, but in hindsight he knew that it was because it made Sai look more like Sasuke. Had he only loved Sai because of the resemblance? Surely there had been more to it than that? It looked as though Sai hadn't had it cut since that conversation. It was tied back in a thin ponytail.

"I really missed you," said Sai.

"It's not like you to be sentimental."

Sai laughed. "You're right," he said. "But it's true. I don't think you want to hear that right now though."

"What do you mean?

"I'm sorry about Sasuke."

"No you're not," said Naruto coolly. "Did Moegi tell you he was here? I suppose the whole village knows now."

"Your son did, actually. He tried to tell Sakura. He said Moegi told him, but Moegi denied it, saying something about it being confidential. I think Akira stormed off - he doesn't like being called a liar." Sai paused. "Don't misunderstand - she's a good girl. I think she thought telling Akira would give the two of you something to talk about and strengthen your bonds. I don't think she realized what a big thing she was telling him until Sakura turned up on her doorstep."

"Don't you go telling me I'm a crappy father as well," Naruto spat. "I don't need that."

"I wasn't going to."

"Good."

"Are you okay to come back to the village now, or should I return with some excuse?" asked Sai eventually. "I don't know what happened between you two, but if you need some time alone I can think of something to tell them."

Naruto's heart warmed slightly and he remembered why he had cared about Sai so much. He was so reliable, and at times like this that was exactly what Naruto needed.

"I'll come back," he said, taking a deep breath. "And Sai?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."


End file.
